One of the gifts of this pilgrimage – already – is that I have realized that I live expecting myself to be either “All In” or “Not In”. This thought occurred to me as I was walking the other day.
That way of living leaves no space or permission for Not Knowing.
I saw a social media meme that said: “Be all in or get out. There is no halfway.” (Couldn’t locate attribution.)
If there’s no halfway, where are:
- not knowing
- on the way to figuring it out, and
- a million other in-between points that represent being-in-process?
What about being all in, fully committed, to walk the path, and to discover what is right for us as we go along?
I know that I have ditched some potentially worthy projects over the years because I didn’t feel “All In” for the outcome as I thought about starting the project.
As I let these projects go, I told myself two very questionable and related “truths”:
- It takes “all in” to get it done (anything else is simply not enough).
- If I’m not “all in” for the project, I’m not committed enough.
I was living All In or Not In.
Now I question this way of living.
Momentum and commitment can build along the way to a very successful conclusion.
Sometimes being fully committed to “finding out” is the best place to be. That gives me room to discern what is truly mine to do.
I’ve learned from this pilgrimage that “all in” is not really the most useful criteria for whether to proceed or not, on a journey or a project. This will open up a lot more potential opportunities for me in my life.
What is important is to keep walking, until I find out whether the journey is mine to do.
Whether it is raining or sunny, and whether they want to or not, pilgrims keep walking, unless they are too injured or sick to walk.
They may not feel “all in”. “All of them” may not be “in”. But they walk anyway.
Maybe that is really what “all in” is.
I am All In for walking, and I am All In for discovering what is mine to do.
What are you All In for?