Remember the bit in the last blog post where I said I was accepting where I was (injured and limited)?
Well, I thought I had accepted “what is,” but this week, now that the physical pain has subsided a bit, the inner challenges started to arise. It was almost as if I didn’t know who I was when I couldn’t do all the things that I do.
Apparently, I am a Human Doing.
Didn’t see that coming. I talk a good game about “who you are is a lot more about who you ‘be’ than about what you do.” 🙂
The sum of it seemed to be an inner Production Critic with a story along these lines: “I’d better get a plan together for how I’m going to use this recovery time, because what if I get to the end of the 6+ weeks, and have nothing to show for it?”
My mind then leaped into high gear, concocting plans and schedules, for reading all those books I never read, writing all those things I never write, sketching, learning a new skill, etc.
The unmanaged mind can be a dangerous thing.
“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”
Peter Druker
The essence of it all was that there was a part of me that wanted to fill in all the now unknown territory that lay before me, so that I didn’t have to sit in the discomfort of being in unknown territory (on a pilgrimage! How perfect, right?)
Pilgrims get detoured.
Actually, I believe that the unknown territory in our lives is exactly where the potential gifts of growth lie, in wait for our discovery. But that doesn’t make the experience of being in unknown territory comfortable.
I noticed that a deeper voice in me had a different perspective than the Production Critic:
- What if you let the story tell itself to you, instead of you writing the script?
- Is it possible that there is meaning and purpose in the silence and space?
- What if this is a different kind of opportunity to be a pilgrim, one who really trusts the journey?
Have you ever had a technology device that develops a glitch so bad that you have to do a factory reset, restoring it to its original condition?
This feels like a factory reset.
Where are you detoured?
Leave a Reply